Dear Anon, I’m going to be making a couple of assumptions when answering this, so if they’re not accurate ones, please yell.
Assuming that it is in fact Odin and Loki you’re in contact with, and not some other spirits pissing around with you, and also assuming you believe that you interpreted the sign correctly, whatever that was, then I’d answer the following way:
The Old Man aint like us. That’s the first thing to bear in mind. We’re talking about, even on the simplest level, a god who ripped out his own eye for a chance to drink from Mimir’s well. We’re talking about a god who stabbed himself with a spear, and then while wounded and bleeding, hung himself from a tree for nine whole nights, with no bread, no water, no nothing. Just his pain and the intention that it be made holy - that everything he was be given as a sacrifice, so he could become Something More.
This is a god who will raise up a hero, so that they may lead armies and have songs sung about them forever, and then turn the tide of battle against them so they are violently slain,and gathered up by the Valkyria.
This is a god who will throw a spear over a battle to make it his own, so that the battle itself is his to manipulate, regardless of what side wins. This is a god who, with a sly wink and tip of his broad-brimmed hat will go about the worlds, proudly bearing the name Bolverk - Worker of Evil. A god who will, according to lore, be willing to commit genocide and murder in order to create the worlds we now inhabit.
Yet for all that, this is a god who is a healer, who sought knowledge so that he might manipulate the inevitable end of existence into a better form for all of us. This is a god who is fiercely kind, who wears ten thousand faces and forms - who gives the gifts of inspiration to poets and artists. This is a god who sees the potential in the worst of times, the wonder in the darkness and the beauty in the most horrific of situations.
If anything, this is a god who embraces non-duality. This is a god who leads us into darkness so that we may see the relentless, restless nature of creativity - who teaches us that all materials can be used for the furtherance of who we Really Are.
Remember, this is a god who is very old, and very much a giant in some senses - unflinching and uncompromising in the expression of his Being.
I’ve seen people call his attitude ‘abusive’ - as if he’s some parent with a twisted idea that what he does is for their own good. I’ve equally seen people say you can only serve him by suffering, pain and ordeal.
Bollocks. Sheer. Bloody. Bollocks.
This is the Master of Fury we’re talking about here. Woðanaz. The one who gave breath to humankind. Lord of Inspiration. This is the one who pulls back the curtain, and reveals to us that change is the only constant in the whole kosmos - and that it is literally impossible to remain static. This is the god who shows us that everything - literally everything - is interconnected, that everything affects everything else.
This is Oski - the fulfiller of wishes. This is One Eye, Weak-eye - he who nonetheless sees more than any except Frigga. A disabled god who binds himself, wounds himself and starves himself. He accumulates his weakness to its most terrible extent and yet emerges triumphant. This is the Deceiver, the Masked God. The one who tells the Truth even as he spins lies.and tells tales.
Friend anon, you ask me if it’s normal for the Allfather to come across as a bit of a dick? If it’s normal for the master of wind and storm and howling dead riding across the sky to seem a little socially unacceptable? For the one they call Contrary Screamer to propel you into places beyond the light and comfort of your life before?
If it’s usual for the Fetterer to bind us so tightly we can barely breathe, his noose about our necks? If it’s usual for the Loosener to set us free with screaming ecstasy, to soar across the world?
You ask if the Blinded God would have us use our eyes, our conventional notions of the world, to see the way - or if in fact we must learn to perceive life in new and creative ways?
You ask me if it is normal for the Old Wolf to prowl around the edges of your life, so as to remind you that safety is a human conception, and that you may die in the next moment? That you may be hit by a bus, or struck by an aneurysm?
That this most uncommon of gods, this strangest of wanderers, this most Blind of Guests, should bring experience which forces us to make a choice, and to understand that The Only Way Out is Through?
There is only one word for this, anon. Only one by which we engage, and survive such things:
Of course, I could have said this, right back at the beginning. Three little letters arranged so as to answer your question. Of course I could.
I could have stayed silent, and not written, not spoken. But then perhaps, you might not have the same experience as you do now - assuming you’ve read this far, that is.
Be well, anon. If there’s one thing the Old Man teaches, it’s that This Too Shall Pass.